Since the last time I Blogged, I had our third son Zachary. I actually went into labor THAT DAY I last blogged. Looking forward to writing about my labor and delivery...but for now, I want to write about my day to day as a new Mom to a newborn with two toddlers.
People ask me every.single.day, "How do you do it?" Or, they will say "You are so Blessed" or, my favorite, "Bless you, three boys...you have your hands full". My answer to all of them...anxiety medication, a glass of wine at night, and a cup of cold coffee (since I am so busy, I rarely get to drink my coffee hot or even luke warm anymore) in the morning. I also have a fantastic support system where we are. But, for those that know me...I don't keep anything in. I would rather be honest, than one day just snap and people say "she went crazy". I want people to know that I am already crazy. I just let a little out every day.
So, some truths about my day to day. Once again, NO HOLDING BACK! I just had a power nap, having a HOT cup of coffee and I feel flipping FANTASTIC. All three boys are ASLEEP. How this happened, I am not sure. Pretty sure that God knew that I needed a break, and I missed my coffee warm.
I thought having 1 child was hard...and Grady was a piece of cake! We decided to have a second, mainly for Grady. We didn't want him to be an only child. So, then we had 2 boys. Holy Hell...that was even harder! They were both polar opposites. I had PPD with my second, so that didn't help at all...but then we decided. "hey, lets have ONE MORE". So, now I have three. THREE BOYS. I have never...NEVER...in my 30 years of living been nonstop from sun up to sun down (and hours after).
There are days I don't brush my teeth until lunch time. I now buy yoga pants/leggings for my daily outfit and not to just work out or lounge in. I get excited to grocery shop alone...or even with just one child. I don't pee or poop in private anymore. There is ALWAYS an audience. R Kelly would be jealous (too far?). My toe nails get painted...just over and over. I don't have time to take the polish off and redo it. My eyebrows...omg. My eyebrows. I can't even getting started on those things. Putting makeup on is always fun. If it happens, it happens in the van while all three are strapped in and can't play with my now cheap makeup brushes. I stopped buying pricey beauty products because they end up in the toilet, in the dogs bowl, in the dirt outside, or I will find face lotion under my pillow (that's always fun). And yes, back to the van..I now own a minivan. You know what? I FLIPPING LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF MY MINI VAN!!!! I have melt downs every single day. I say to myself, "I can't do this"...I text my husband, "I can't do this". My once clean home now looks like a daycare center. When one child is being good, the other is screaming because his sippy cup doesn't have enough apple juice. Or, when the infant is screaming...they both scream. It's a competition. Who screams the loudest? MOMMY!!! Sometimes, we just have to get bat shit crazy on them. Yes, you heard me right. The "thinking chair" works...to a point. But sometimes we have to get CRAZY for them to listen. Call me a bad mom. Go ahead.
Meals aren't as healthy as they once were. I now do more convenient meals. Yes, I served my family hot dogs and felt damn proud. Most days are crockpot meals, left overs, and if they are lucky...a super awesome meal. that usually only happens twice a week. But yes, hot dogs are now in my freezer...next to the dinosaur chicken nuggets. Most people are probably freaking out that know me. Oh well...this is life. A hot dog is not going to kill them.
My bedroom looks like a hurricane hit it. I don't even want to go in there. I would rather sleep on my couch than look at the mess. I would rather my guests look at my living room and think "wow, she has it together"...so most of the mess gets tossed in my bedroom or hall closet. Don't think less of me. Admire that I admitted it. You know why? Most people do that. We all have our "room" that shit gets tossed in when we have guests coming over. I get more cleaning done in the 10 minutes before a guest comes than I do that entire day leading up to it! NO JOKE!
The days fly by and I feel I didn't accomplish a thing...but then I stop and think. I did accomplish something. We are alive. We are healthy. I love my boys. I miss working, but I love my boys. I have arranged for help twice a week. I can't do it all. I can't keep my sanity for my boys without help. My husband helps me as much as he can..but during the day. I NEED HELP. My kids are so young, so close in age...they feed off of each other. They are active...they get bored when I am feeding the newborn, or cleaning bottles, or sweeping up the cheerios they knocked on the floor.
It has taken good friends, family, and a wonderful husband to point out that I can't be Super Mom all of the time. I am a control freak...but it's time to let that go. Life is too short to stress about the floors, the laundry, marks on the walls, toys in fridge, peanut butter on the fence, or a Betty Crocker meal every night. I write that, but I know I will stress about it all tomorrow. I know this. But, right now...I am enjoying sharing my honest thoughts, my hot coffee (so flipping nice), about to enjoy a shower (with a baby monitor next to the shower. YOU KNOW they will wake up as soon as I get my hair wet)..who knows. I might actually style my hair super cute. Damn...my makeup is in the van. My awesome...awesome Mini van.
