Laughing a baby out

I was induced on May 5, 2010 at 1am with our first son, Grady. His due date was May 3, I had progressed very far on my own, and lived nearly an hour from the hospital. We didnt want to take any chances of me deliverying on the side of the road.  I was told by my doctor and the nurses that I would feel my contractions get stronger and more frequent. Okay, no problem. I had my husband and my mom by my side, I had read every book on delivering babies, did yoga to help my breathing, so I thought I was ready. Now that I look back, I just shake my head at myself. I was a know it all Mommy already, and kick myself in the ass daily for ever saying "coulda shoulda woulda" to any other woman out there.

Let me start over, see..I had never even had an IV until I went to get induced!!! The nurse actually NUMBED me first before placing the IV in my hand. She was my guardian angel from that point forward LOL. I was already dilated to almost a 4, 90% effaced, so the doctor and nurse thought I just needed that extra boost of Pitocin to get my uterus having regular contractions. OMG, I will NEVER forget the first REAL contraction I had. I wanted to vomit, exorcist style over my husbands face. It felt like my body was being ripped apart like Freddy Fricken Kruger (sp). At that point, I already knew I wanted an epidural and I wanted the Pitocin (devils water) to be turned off.

They kept me on the devils water for a few hours and realized I wasn't progressing at all and maybe my uterus needed to rest. I was contracting on my own for a while after that...but in a natural way. It was great...I was able to breath in between contraction and my body was naturally sending the signals to my brain to breath and relax. Pitocin doesn't do that.

The doctor came in about 7am and told me that the anesthesiologist would be on the Delivery floor around 9am and I am 3rd on the list if I wanted one. We all agreed that I would, and it might help relax my uterus and help me go into labor all the way...full blown labor. After being in the bed for 7 hours, I was ready to get the show on the road. See, I was told that I wasn't able to move around freely. So, I was just laying in the bed....helpless. A nurse came in and showed me different ways to sit up that will help the baby move down in the birth canal. It helped the contractions too!!!! Around 11am, a nurse came in and asked "ma'am, do you want your epidural?". I responded, "yes, I wanted it 2 hours ago". She came in 10 minutes later, with the SAME QUESTION. I wanted to choke her. My Mom and husband wanted to choke her. THEN, the doctor came back in and asked THE SAME QUESTION, with the nurse in the room...my husband said "YES, she has said she wanted the epidural from the beginning.". I said, "I knew I wanted the epidural when I first found out I was PREGNANT, GIVE.ME.THE.EPIDURAL.". Guess what???? The anesthesiologist HAD LEFT THE FLOOR, because they didn't think I WANTED THE EPIDURAL. I seriously wanted to switch hospitals at that point. I didn't care if I was nearly 6cm dilated...I wanted out.

The anesthesiologist came in the room a little after noon, shaking her head because she seemed frusturated that I "finally decided I wanted an epidural". OMG. I should have known she was trouble from the beginning, wearing an LSU bandana. I looked at her and said "chomp chomp, GO GATORS". She didn't find my sense of humor...funny. Now, getting epi during contractions is no fun. My best tip, just breath. And, if you hear the Doctor say "oops" and move the needle around. Don't flip like I did. It doesn't matter...nerve damage was already done and you are screwed. Yes, I had nerve damage. Bitch. I never should have said "go gators".

After I got my epidural, the nurse pumped me back up with Pitocin immediately. My Mom and husband reentered the room (they weren't allowed in the room during the procedure), and as soon as they walked in....all the of the machines started to beep like there was a fire in my uterus. I freaked when I about 10 nurses charged in. Usually, your main nurse will come in to readjust the machine and make sure everything is okay. Apparently, the nurse's station flipped out...and for good reason. Grady's heart rate went from about 150 to 60 in a matter of seconds, and my blood pressure dropped drastically. They turned me on my left side (with help because I couldn't do it on my own) and turned off the pitocin. At that point forward, I was wearing Oxygen and Grady and I were good. I will never forget the look on my husband's face. He looked as if he had seen a ghost.

Once everything was good, I was able to relax a bit (chillen on my left side). I had some visitors, got to reapply my makeup, and get some rest. Then, I did something NO.WOMAN.SHOULD.EVER.EVER.DO. I could tell I felt "swollen" down THERE. I took a mirror and looked. OH MY GAAAAA. Okay, if you get offended easily, go to the next paragraph. ....Okay, it looked like my vagina had turned into a can of vienna sausages! I am serious. It was horrible. I started crying, "my vagina is coming inside out!!!" My Mom informed me, that it was normal. I instructed my husband to not look at it. I knew if he did, and THEN saw me deliver...my sex life would get thrown out of the window. I just pictured him moving on to a 21 year old with a tight who ha and leaving me behind with vienna sausage vag. Dramatic? Yes. Don't even tell me that it never crossed your mind! So...5 hours later....

My doctor informed me that I would be ready around 6pm. My sister, was driving back and forth to go feed her newborn TWIN boys she had 3 weeks prior. Yes, being pregnant with my sister was AMAZING =) So, we had to time her trips. I was placed back on my left side due to heart rates dropping. My Mom's ex, which I call my Step Dad was in the room. I know how he doesn't handle certain conversations well. Shoot...even the word tampon freaks him out. Well, I knew I either had to poop..or Grady was coming out. So, I warned everyone. "I think I have to poop". Sure enough....POOP....EVERYWHERE. It was the WORST.SMELL.IN.THE.WORLD. All I could do was laugh, until I was told it fell on my slippers. My cute, pink fluffy slippers.  Well, I knew it was close to delivery. It is very common to poop right before delivery. It cleans everything out =) the doc came in and didn't even have to check me. He just looked at my huge vag and saw Grady's head right at my cervix....or where my cervix once was.

PUSHING:
It took two people to hold my HUGE right leg up. I was able to lift my left leg on my own. They broke the bed down, everyone was in position. This was the part I was so fearful for. I heard that even with an epidural, you still feel the "ring of fire". That is where the babies' head is stretching out your lips. LUckily, I couldn't feel that. I only felt the pressure of him moving down my birth canal and in my vag. It was pretty cool. I pushed 4 times and was so full of energy. I was so ready to see him. Then, in between contractions, Nathan (my husband) made me laugh. I laughed SO HARD, Grady SHOT OUT OF ME!!! My Mom and sister screamed at the doctor because he was turned around (getting scissors) and he caught him. I literally, LAUGHED MY BABY OUT. Since it was so sudden, I tore and Grady suffered a head ache. But, he was perfect.
in the movies, babies come out with no blood, and wide eyed and ready. That's how Grady was. They barely had to wipe him off and he was just looking around, analyzing everyone. He didn't cry for about 5 minutes after delivery.

Now, for those that aren't familiar with pregnancy/deliver....there is a second time you have to push. Sometimes, you don't have to push and it comes out. What is "it" I talk about?? The placenta and sac. It's like a bloody inflated balloon. They make sure everything looks healthy, and give you an option if you want to "save it'. Umm..no thanks.

Grady latched right on my boob...it was awesome. Little did I know, that it would be a long process to continue to get him to latch the right way....

Since I did tear, I had to have stitches. My sister has had 4 kids, and my mom had 2. They saw the doc stitching me up, and looked mortified. I guess my tear was pretty bad. Hey, I couldn't feel a thing!!!!!

Post Partum:
Usually after the epidural is removed, you are able to walk immediately after. They want you to walk around and use the restroom before relocating you to a different room. Well, I wasn't able to move my left until 12 hours after they removed my epidural. It was horrible, and frightening to be honest.

I was also STARVING. I will never forget my first meal. It was a chicken strip meal from Whataburger. It was the best thing I had ever tasted. I had eaten in 20 hours, and was ready to grub. I also knew I needed to Breast Feed, so I need some nutrients (hey, french fries are okay....okay, shut up. I know). Then, I started to cry because I asked my husband for some napkins. He handed me 1 napkin. And i lost it. I couldn't stop crying. "why would you only give me 1!!!! you don't love me!!!" And that was my hormones going crazy.

Before you leave the hospital, they want to make sure you are urinating and taking a poop. They will give you a stool softener to help the process a long. Trust me, take it. You will need it. It's the scariest thing...to poop after pushing out a watermelon, especially if you get stitches. I was crying before I even pooped because I was so scared!!!
I was in pain for about 4 weeks "down there" and had to be very careful. Unfortunately, I had nerve damage for about 10 months after delivery. Apparently, it is very common and it would heal on it's own.

Breastfeeding:
It took me and Grady about a full 6 weeks to get a good latch. I didn't give up, and had sore/cracked nipples. I ended up breastfeeding for about 9 months until we decided to have another baby.

3 Months afte that....we got Pregnant with Parker =)

Pregnancy: Part 1

First off, let me just say that I am not going to hold anything back. I have decided to write about each of my pregnancies while they are still fresh in my mind. How do they stay fresh, you ask? Oh...I have basically been pregnant since Aug of 2009. My 1st son will be 3 in May, and I have a 14 month son as well....oh and I am pregnant again. =)

Each pregnancy has been completely different. I have heard women say that happens, but I never believed them. Holy shit, now I do.

<1st Pregnancy: Grady>
My first pregnancy was AWESOME. It took us about 3 months to conceive, but I knew before I even peed on the stick that I was pregnant. I saw Raw Chicken  in the grocery store and wanted to vomit all over the place. But, the BIG sign was the fact I didn't want a sip of alcohol. I KNEW something was wrong when I didn't want an Irish Wake from McGuires Irish Pub.

There was the occassional nausea in the first trimester. I was able to eat a cracker, drink ginger ale, or suck on a peppermint and feel fine. I had Placenta Previa, so it did feel like my vagina was going to fall out...but I figured out my boundaries and dealt with it.

In the second trimester, I started getting heart burn. I would drink WATER, and I would turn into a Fire breathing dragon. No lie. I had to sleep sitting up on the couch. I started taking Zantac 150 in the morning and night, it was a life savor!!! Everyone...I MEAN EVERYONE was telling me that my baby would have a lot of hair due to the heartburn. ahahaha NOT.

I also knew I was having a boy from the beginning, I didn't even bother looking at girls clothes or girl names. It was pretty cool to see the winky dink on the ultrasound. I love being right. =) We already had his name picked out, and it was perfect. Grady....he was our Baby Grady.

Since I had Placenta Previa, we couldn't have sex, I couldn't exercise, or stand on my feet for a long time. Some might say, "Who would want to have sex with a pregnant woman?". Well, my husband thought I was still sexy and attractive...so why not???!!! I mean, he was right...I still looked damn good with a huge belly. hahaha those are jokes, kinda.  Poor guy, we didn't cleared until I was 7 months pregnant. On Valentine's Day, My doctor looked at me and said "Happy Valentine's Day, you can have sex". Thanks Doc!

Once I was cleared to workout, and go back to "normal activity", I was mowing the grass, doing yoga, light weights, and working as much as I could. Grady was laying very low, so it was hard at times to work a lot. I was doing hair, and was lucky to have a big clientel to where I could space my clients out so I could rest. Even though my Placenta had moved up, it still felt like my vag was going to fall on the floor at any second. I peed my panties (yes...panties...not thongs. Thongs were thrown out of my house at that point) several times and even pooped my panties once while doing a clients hair. Hormones will do that by the way, make you poop your pants. It did give my friend, Krista something to laugh at during the work week. Back to the thongs...I had hemmorhoids (hormones do that as well), so there was no way I was putting dental floss up my butt. I didn't care if somebody saw my panty line. I was pregnant, nobody should be staring at a pregnant womans ass...except their spouse =)

Once I was 37 weeks, I was already dilated to almost 2 cm. We thought it would happen any day, especially since I was so active. Nope. I walked around with my cervix opened about the size of a plum for the last 2 weeks. I went two days past my due date, and we decided to be induced. I was almost 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. The hospital was 45 minutes away, so we didn't want to risk me delivering the baby on the side of the road in BFE.

So, before I write about my Delivery, let's go over the pregnancy basics I had with Grady.
Slight nausea, stupid crazy heart burn, My vag felt like it was going to fall out, I couldn't have sex with my Husband for 7 months, I pissed and shit on myself a few times (okay...it was more than a few, but who is counting), I knew I was having a boy from the beginning, and I walked around for about 2 weeks with Grady's hand hanging out saying "what's up dude".

Here are a few tips for new pregnant Mommas:
* If you are craving something, eat it. If you don't, then you will drive your spouse/significant other BONKERS and being a raging Bitch for a while. If you are craving it, your body needs the nutrients/vitamins  in that food. I craved Oranges with Grady....I don't recommend eating a lot of them, he's nuts.
* Stop using the rubber band trick to keep your pants on. Go and by maternity pants,dresses, skirts, or yoga pants. You will feel SO much better, and people can see that your pants aren't buttoned. LOL
* The "at home remedies" that supposedly help induce labor are a crock. I tried just about everything, and my body was already in preterm labor and nothing worked. I don't recommend castor oil. I didn't try it, but it will cause you to shit and vomit, which may cause you to go into labor. Who wants to go into labor dehydrated? Not this girl!?!
* Sleep as much as you can. Once the baby gets here, you won't sleep ever again...ever...again.
* Do kegal exercises daily. You will thank me later.

I am sure there are several tips I missed out on. I will remember them when I write about my pregnancy with Parker, my second son. For now, I am going to go bribe my children into taking a nap so I can rest. Oh yea, first trimester will cause you to be so tired and feel like you have never slept. Kind of like how you feel after Mardi Gras.....nauseated..some vomitting..and exhausted!

 

check out my second pregnancy...coming soon!

Southern Lovin Greens

Growing up in the South, I heard people talking about Collard Greens, Mustard Greens, or just Greens. My Mom didn't make them, and I didn't try them until I was in my 20's!! I have had some horrible ones, but just recently I had some AMAZING Greens. I started craving them (thank you pregnancy), so I started doing some research on how to prepare them. My husband had never tried them (he's from New England), so I had to give him a taste of the South.

Ingredients:

1 package precut mixed greens. It was 1lb total and was mixed with mustard and collard greens
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 slices of bacon
1 large onion (chopped)
2-3 garlic gloves, depending on their size
3 cups chicken broth
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
Heat oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add bacon, and cook until crisp. Remove bacon from pan, crumble and return to the pan. Add onion, and cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Add garlic, and cook until just fragrant. Add collard greens, and fry until they start to wilt. For those that have never cooked greens, please note that the greens will SHRINK..that's the best way to describe it. Wilt is a good word...but since I had never cooked them, I was like "my pot is over flowing!!" Just keep stirring the greens and the heat will cause them to wilt.

Once they have "wilted" (is that a word?), pour in chicken broth, and season with salt and pepper.  Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 45 minutes, or until greens are tender. I cooked mine for an hour. There will be a lot of liquid in the pot, so I just used prongs to get them out.

I served them with Homemade Mac n Cheese and Melt in Your Mouth chicken (posted on this Blog).

Thank you to Allrecipes.com for helping me with this recipe and pinterest for the Melt in Your Mouth Chicken Recipe!!! See, there are definetely some MUST TRYS on these sites!!!

I also decided to make these, because a great friend recommended leafy greens to me. I have severe anxiety at times, and the leaves and stems are good in minerals like iron, calcium, copper, manganese, selenium and zinc.All of these have been linked to help with depression and anxiety =)

Lazy Sunday Casserole (A pinterest Must)

I found this recipe through Pinterest, and had to try it out. I am not a huge fan of Italian Sausage, or any sausage for that matter...(for those with a dirty mind..shame.on.YOU.).

The only thing I changed about this recipe was the fennel. I have never cooked with it, and honestly, didn't feel like going to the grocery store for just that.

Ingredients:
4 sausages (beef or pork)
1 pound potatoes
1/2 pound carrots
1/2 bell pepper (green was fantastic)
1 large onion
1 fennel bulb (I didn't use this)
2 garlic cloves
2 tbsp oil
freshly cracked black pepper
1 1/2 tsp Italian herbs
1/2 cup chicken broth
4 tbsp balsamic vinegar

As I said, I didn't use fennel, and it was still AMAZING. I only used 4 potatoes, and 4 carrots.

Directions:

I chopped all the veggies, peeled taters and cut them in 4 sections that morning while my youngest son was napping. I tend to prepare meals the morning of so I can just throw everything together that evening.

Toss the taters, carrots in a roasting pan. (I coated my pan with cooking spray, just in case).

In a seperate bowl, mix together oil, chicken broth, chopped or grated garlic, and italian herbs. Pour over veggies and toss to coat. I actually didn't season the veggies with salt and pepper like the recipe says to, and it was still great. I think next time I might add pepper.

Cover and place in a 450 preheated oven for 45 minutes.

While those are roasting and toasting, brown your sausage. Don't cook them all of the way..just brown them a little bit. Cut them in half and set them to the side.

After 45 minutes the potatoes and vegetables should be fork tender. If they’re not, cover the tray with the foil and pop them back in the oven for a few more minutes. If they are fork tender, place the sausages in there and pour the balsamic vinegar all over. Place the tray back in the oven, uncovered, for 25 to 30 minutes.

It's a different taste, but a GOOD taste. Next time, I will be adding Brocolli or cauliflower to soak up those yummy flavors.

Most kitchens have these ingredients, so try it out!! This is a cheap, healthy, and filling meal.
Enjoy!