Laughing a baby out

I was induced on May 5, 2010 at 1am with our first son, Grady. His due date was May 3, I had progressed very far on my own, and lived nearly an hour from the hospital. We didnt want to take any chances of me deliverying on the side of the road.  I was told by my doctor and the nurses that I would feel my contractions get stronger and more frequent. Okay, no problem. I had my husband and my mom by my side, I had read every book on delivering babies, did yoga to help my breathing, so I thought I was ready. Now that I look back, I just shake my head at myself. I was a know it all Mommy already, and kick myself in the ass daily for ever saying "coulda shoulda woulda" to any other woman out there.

Let me start over, see..I had never even had an IV until I went to get induced!!! The nurse actually NUMBED me first before placing the IV in my hand. She was my guardian angel from that point forward LOL. I was already dilated to almost a 4, 90% effaced, so the doctor and nurse thought I just needed that extra boost of Pitocin to get my uterus having regular contractions. OMG, I will NEVER forget the first REAL contraction I had. I wanted to vomit, exorcist style over my husbands face. It felt like my body was being ripped apart like Freddy Fricken Kruger (sp). At that point, I already knew I wanted an epidural and I wanted the Pitocin (devils water) to be turned off.

They kept me on the devils water for a few hours and realized I wasn't progressing at all and maybe my uterus needed to rest. I was contracting on my own for a while after that...but in a natural way. It was great...I was able to breath in between contraction and my body was naturally sending the signals to my brain to breath and relax. Pitocin doesn't do that.

The doctor came in about 7am and told me that the anesthesiologist would be on the Delivery floor around 9am and I am 3rd on the list if I wanted one. We all agreed that I would, and it might help relax my uterus and help me go into labor all the way...full blown labor. After being in the bed for 7 hours, I was ready to get the show on the road. See, I was told that I wasn't able to move around freely. So, I was just laying in the bed....helpless. A nurse came in and showed me different ways to sit up that will help the baby move down in the birth canal. It helped the contractions too!!!! Around 11am, a nurse came in and asked "ma'am, do you want your epidural?". I responded, "yes, I wanted it 2 hours ago". She came in 10 minutes later, with the SAME QUESTION. I wanted to choke her. My Mom and husband wanted to choke her. THEN, the doctor came back in and asked THE SAME QUESTION, with the nurse in the room...my husband said "YES, she has said she wanted the epidural from the beginning.". I said, "I knew I wanted the epidural when I first found out I was PREGNANT, GIVE.ME.THE.EPIDURAL.". Guess what???? The anesthesiologist HAD LEFT THE FLOOR, because they didn't think I WANTED THE EPIDURAL. I seriously wanted to switch hospitals at that point. I didn't care if I was nearly 6cm dilated...I wanted out.

The anesthesiologist came in the room a little after noon, shaking her head because she seemed frusturated that I "finally decided I wanted an epidural". OMG. I should have known she was trouble from the beginning, wearing an LSU bandana. I looked at her and said "chomp chomp, GO GATORS". She didn't find my sense of humor...funny. Now, getting epi during contractions is no fun. My best tip, just breath. And, if you hear the Doctor say "oops" and move the needle around. Don't flip like I did. It doesn't matter...nerve damage was already done and you are screwed. Yes, I had nerve damage. Bitch. I never should have said "go gators".

After I got my epidural, the nurse pumped me back up with Pitocin immediately. My Mom and husband reentered the room (they weren't allowed in the room during the procedure), and as soon as they walked in....all the of the machines started to beep like there was a fire in my uterus. I freaked when I about 10 nurses charged in. Usually, your main nurse will come in to readjust the machine and make sure everything is okay. Apparently, the nurse's station flipped out...and for good reason. Grady's heart rate went from about 150 to 60 in a matter of seconds, and my blood pressure dropped drastically. They turned me on my left side (with help because I couldn't do it on my own) and turned off the pitocin. At that point forward, I was wearing Oxygen and Grady and I were good. I will never forget the look on my husband's face. He looked as if he had seen a ghost.

Once everything was good, I was able to relax a bit (chillen on my left side). I had some visitors, got to reapply my makeup, and get some rest. Then, I did something NO.WOMAN.SHOULD.EVER.EVER.DO. I could tell I felt "swollen" down THERE. I took a mirror and looked. OH MY GAAAAA. Okay, if you get offended easily, go to the next paragraph. ....Okay, it looked like my vagina had turned into a can of vienna sausages! I am serious. It was horrible. I started crying, "my vagina is coming inside out!!!" My Mom informed me, that it was normal. I instructed my husband to not look at it. I knew if he did, and THEN saw me deliver...my sex life would get thrown out of the window. I just pictured him moving on to a 21 year old with a tight who ha and leaving me behind with vienna sausage vag. Dramatic? Yes. Don't even tell me that it never crossed your mind! So...5 hours later....

My doctor informed me that I would be ready around 6pm. My sister, was driving back and forth to go feed her newborn TWIN boys she had 3 weeks prior. Yes, being pregnant with my sister was AMAZING =) So, we had to time her trips. I was placed back on my left side due to heart rates dropping. My Mom's ex, which I call my Step Dad was in the room. I know how he doesn't handle certain conversations well. Shoot...even the word tampon freaks him out. Well, I knew I either had to poop..or Grady was coming out. So, I warned everyone. "I think I have to poop". Sure enough....POOP....EVERYWHERE. It was the WORST.SMELL.IN.THE.WORLD. All I could do was laugh, until I was told it fell on my slippers. My cute, pink fluffy slippers.  Well, I knew it was close to delivery. It is very common to poop right before delivery. It cleans everything out =) the doc came in and didn't even have to check me. He just looked at my huge vag and saw Grady's head right at my cervix....or where my cervix once was.

PUSHING:
It took two people to hold my HUGE right leg up. I was able to lift my left leg on my own. They broke the bed down, everyone was in position. This was the part I was so fearful for. I heard that even with an epidural, you still feel the "ring of fire". That is where the babies' head is stretching out your lips. LUckily, I couldn't feel that. I only felt the pressure of him moving down my birth canal and in my vag. It was pretty cool. I pushed 4 times and was so full of energy. I was so ready to see him. Then, in between contractions, Nathan (my husband) made me laugh. I laughed SO HARD, Grady SHOT OUT OF ME!!! My Mom and sister screamed at the doctor because he was turned around (getting scissors) and he caught him. I literally, LAUGHED MY BABY OUT. Since it was so sudden, I tore and Grady suffered a head ache. But, he was perfect.
in the movies, babies come out with no blood, and wide eyed and ready. That's how Grady was. They barely had to wipe him off and he was just looking around, analyzing everyone. He didn't cry for about 5 minutes after delivery.

Now, for those that aren't familiar with pregnancy/deliver....there is a second time you have to push. Sometimes, you don't have to push and it comes out. What is "it" I talk about?? The placenta and sac. It's like a bloody inflated balloon. They make sure everything looks healthy, and give you an option if you want to "save it'. Umm..no thanks.

Grady latched right on my boob...it was awesome. Little did I know, that it would be a long process to continue to get him to latch the right way....

Since I did tear, I had to have stitches. My sister has had 4 kids, and my mom had 2. They saw the doc stitching me up, and looked mortified. I guess my tear was pretty bad. Hey, I couldn't feel a thing!!!!!

Post Partum:
Usually after the epidural is removed, you are able to walk immediately after. They want you to walk around and use the restroom before relocating you to a different room. Well, I wasn't able to move my left until 12 hours after they removed my epidural. It was horrible, and frightening to be honest.

I was also STARVING. I will never forget my first meal. It was a chicken strip meal from Whataburger. It was the best thing I had ever tasted. I had eaten in 20 hours, and was ready to grub. I also knew I needed to Breast Feed, so I need some nutrients (hey, french fries are okay....okay, shut up. I know). Then, I started to cry because I asked my husband for some napkins. He handed me 1 napkin. And i lost it. I couldn't stop crying. "why would you only give me 1!!!! you don't love me!!!" And that was my hormones going crazy.

Before you leave the hospital, they want to make sure you are urinating and taking a poop. They will give you a stool softener to help the process a long. Trust me, take it. You will need it. It's the scariest thing...to poop after pushing out a watermelon, especially if you get stitches. I was crying before I even pooped because I was so scared!!!
I was in pain for about 4 weeks "down there" and had to be very careful. Unfortunately, I had nerve damage for about 10 months after delivery. Apparently, it is very common and it would heal on it's own.

Breastfeeding:
It took me and Grady about a full 6 weeks to get a good latch. I didn't give up, and had sore/cracked nipples. I ended up breastfeeding for about 9 months until we decided to have another baby.

3 Months afte that....we got Pregnant with Parker =)