My awesome Mini Van

Since the last time I Blogged, I had our third son Zachary. I actually went into labor THAT DAY I last blogged. Looking forward to writing about my labor and delivery...but for now, I want to write about my day to day as a new Mom to a newborn with two toddlers.

People ask me every.single.day, "How do you do it?" Or, they will say "You are so Blessed" or, my favorite, "Bless you, three boys...you have your hands full". My answer to all of them...anxiety medication, a glass of wine at night, and a cup of cold coffee (since I am so busy, I rarely get to drink my coffee hot or even luke warm anymore) in the morning. I also have a fantastic support system where we are. But, for those that know me...I don't keep anything in. I would rather be honest, than one day just snap and people say "she went crazy". I want people to know that I am already crazy. I just let a little out every day.

So, some truths about my day to day. Once again, NO HOLDING BACK! I just had a power nap, having a HOT cup of coffee and I feel flipping FANTASTIC. All three boys are ASLEEP. How this happened, I am not sure. Pretty sure that God knew that I needed a break, and I missed my coffee warm.

I thought having 1 child was hard...and Grady was a piece of cake! We decided to have a second, mainly for Grady. We didn't want him to be an only child. So, then we had 2 boys. Holy Hell...that was even harder! They were both polar opposites. I had PPD with my second, so that didn't help at all...but then we decided. "hey, lets have ONE MORE". So, now I have three. THREE BOYS. I have never...NEVER...in my 30 years of living been nonstop from sun up to sun down (and hours after).

There are days I don't brush my teeth until lunch time. I now buy yoga pants/leggings for my daily outfit and not to just work out or lounge in. I get excited to grocery shop alone...or even with just one child. I don't pee or poop in private anymore. There is ALWAYS an audience. R Kelly would be jealous (too far?). My toe nails get painted...just over and over. I don't have time to take the polish off and redo it. My eyebrows...omg. My eyebrows. I can't even getting started on those things. Putting makeup on is always fun. If it happens, it happens in the van while all three are strapped in and can't play with my now cheap makeup brushes. I stopped buying pricey beauty products because they end up in the toilet, in the dogs bowl, in the dirt outside, or I will find face lotion under my pillow (that's always fun). And yes, back to the van..I now own a minivan. You know what? I FLIPPING LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF MY MINI VAN!!!! I have melt downs every single day. I say to myself, "I can't do this"...I text my husband, "I can't do this". My once clean home now looks like a daycare center. When one child is being good, the other is screaming because his sippy cup doesn't have enough apple juice. Or, when the infant is screaming...they both scream. It's a competition. Who screams the loudest? MOMMY!!! Sometimes, we just have to get bat shit crazy on them. Yes, you heard me right. The "thinking chair" works...to a point. But sometimes we have to get CRAZY for them to listen. Call me a bad mom. Go ahead.

Meals aren't as healthy as they once were. I now do more convenient meals. Yes, I served my family hot dogs and felt damn proud. Most days are crockpot meals, left overs, and if they are lucky...a super awesome meal. that usually only happens twice a week. But yes, hot dogs are now in my freezer...next to the dinosaur chicken nuggets. Most people are probably freaking out that know me. Oh well...this is life. A hot dog is not going to kill them.

My bedroom looks like a hurricane hit it. I don't even want to go in there. I would rather sleep on my couch than look at the mess. I would rather my guests look at my living room and think "wow, she has it together"...so most of the mess gets tossed in my bedroom or hall closet. Don't think less of me. Admire that I admitted it. You know why? Most people do that. We all have our "room" that shit gets tossed in when we have guests coming over. I get more cleaning done in the 10 minutes before a guest comes than I do that entire day leading up to it! NO JOKE!

 The days fly by and I feel I didn't accomplish a thing...but then I stop and think. I did accomplish something. We are alive. We are healthy. I love my boys. I miss working, but I love my boys. I have arranged for help twice a week. I can't do it all. I can't keep my sanity for my boys without help. My husband helps me as much as he can..but during the day. I NEED HELP. My kids are so young, so close in age...they feed off of each other. They are active...they get bored when I am feeding the newborn, or cleaning bottles, or sweeping up the cheerios they knocked on the floor.

It has taken good friends, family, and a wonderful husband to point out that I can't be Super Mom all of the time. I am a control freak...but it's time to let that go. Life is too short to stress about the floors, the laundry, marks on the walls, toys in fridge, peanut butter on the fence, or a Betty Crocker meal every night. I write that, but I know I will stress about it all tomorrow. I know this. But, right now...I am enjoying sharing my honest thoughts, my hot coffee (so flipping nice), about to enjoy a shower (with a baby monitor next to the shower. YOU KNOW they will wake up as soon as I get my hair wet)..who knows. I might actually style my hair super cute. Damn...my makeup is in the van. My awesome...awesome Mini van.

A quick look on my 3rd pregnancy

I am now 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant with my 3rd son. And yes, I count each day and minute of this pregnancy. This won't be a long post, especially since my 3 year old just woke up and is already asking for blue cookies. (he has never had blue cookies, by the way)

As I have said in previous posts, every pregnancy is different. This pregnancy has KICKED.MY.ASS. I can't count how many times I thought I was in labor this go around. I have actually gone to Triage because I thought my water broke and I was leaking. NOPE...I was PEEING ON MYSELF. At the good ole age of nearly 30 (birthday is this month), and already having two healthy pregnancies...one would THINK I would know what it was like to PEE ON MYSELF. I am one of those that TRY not to complain too much during pregnancy, given most of my friends can't carry or conceive. But, it seems this time..I have complaints coming out of my mouth like Chelsea Handler has the Fbomb coming out of hers.

Caring for two young ACTIVE toddlers is hard to do while pregnant. People will say, "you are super mom".."i don't know how you do it"..."you are so good at this". They are ON CRACK. Ask my husband and those around me how I really am! I am one of the most honest people that will not hold anything back.

My true feelings right now...it might upset some. Sorry. But why LIE about how I feel?

- I am READY to have this baby boy. Just not to meet him. Not because I am uncomfortable (that might be 30% of it). BECAUSE...I need to get back to being consistent and disciplining my other two rug rats before they turn into the Diaz Brothers from MMA. I am limited on what I can do right now, and they are INSANE.

- Heartburn is a bitch. I look at water and feel like a fire breathing dragon.

- Hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass. hehe

- I do love talking about pregnancy with others and all of my different experiences...while rubbing my belly. =)

- I worry daily about this baby.

- I am ready to start breastfeeding...only to be DONE with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing if you are able to do it. I BF for 9 months with my first, no problems. With my second, it lasted 4 months. With this one, If I have to start cutting things out of my diet....he's getting formula. Hey, judge me..go ahead...If I am breastfeeding or formula feeding..I am FEEDING my child. I will BF for the most 9 months if it works out that way. But, I am ready to have my boobies back. I have been pregnant or breastfeeding for 4 years now....cut me some slack.

- I am TIRED of maternity clothes.

- TMI: I am ready to see my chooch again so I can groom properly and not guess what I am doing down there.

- I AM TERRIFIED that I will FREAK OUT on everybody like I did after I had my second. I really am. My anxiety was so high, but atleast I know what to look for this time.

- I am excited this is my last pregnancy, but a little sad at the same time. The excitement of the positive pregnancy test (if you are planning) is a feeling that will always be remembered. But, three is enough for our family and there is no way in HELL I can take care of 4 kids. I can hardly handle the two...poor Zachary will be in an Ergo carrier forever while I am chasing after Grady and Parker.

Looking forward to writing about my labor/delivery.....now....come out! come out! come out!

Maternity Shoot for Baby Zachary

We had SO much fun doing this photo shoot! My great friend was the photographer and had so much patience for our wild family!!!